March - Part 1

I'm currently on another plane. This time, a holiday with friends.

March has brought brighter days and great news....I got a permanent position at my Job!!! I'm so happy, I got emotional on the call with my manager. It's like everything was going downhill and then the universe decided to cut me some slack.

Janara and I started this month with a trip to the cinema to watch the latest Bridget Jones movie. It came out in perfect timing and honestly made me realise that life is so out of our control and we really do need to just trust in our ability to deal with adversity when it arises. Breakups happen in all stages of people's lives. I'm still quite young.

Steven poosted that he gets free tickets to the boxing on our group chat so I went to watch a boxing match with him and Cam. I'd never have been interested before but this was an opportunity to do something different and get dressed up and feel better about myself. Plus, I've been watching A Thousand Blows on Disney+ and it channels strong female characters. So, I dressed up and watched a fair few rounds of men throwing punches at each other in between vibing to some throwback songs.

The next day, the girls in our group had all planned a cold bath and sauna morning followed by brunch and it was so lovely....talk about being in my self care era.

My sleep has been all over the place and one day I woke up at 4am with far too much energy. I decided to get up and go for a walk to catch the sunrise over St Catherines hill in Winchester. I've never been before and I forgot a headtorch so the first part of navigation was a bit tricky in the dark but it was worth it for the peace and tranquility that came as the sun rose. I took Mishka with me and she sat with me as I wrote down my spiralling thoughts in my journal as the warmth of the sunrise and the chill of the frost grounded me.

My brothers birthday came around and we went bowling and dipped into the casino after. It was so nice to spend some time with my family. The 100 day challenge is still ticking on and I've not missed a day at all yet. It's day 42 as I write this.

I've been very sociable in the past few weeks. I have really felt loved and supported by the people around me. I do believe that love will always find me, maybe for now that's just through my friendships. That's enough for me.

Anyway, the flight I'm on is a last minute holiday! We're off to bucharest for a spa weekend. It's cheaper than a weekend in Centre Parcs for us to fly over to Romania on Friday and back again on Sunday. I'd been saving up money for a future with G so I've used some of that money for this holiday. I'm looking forward to it. However, there's a lingering feeling of sadness as this is the first flight I've been on since G. Flights to and from Amsterdam are not something I'll be doing anymore and it became almost comforting, I think it's going to take a fair amount of time to get over the rejection that I have felt through this breakup but I'm healing and I can feel that.