January - Part 1

I'm on yet another flight back from Schiphol to Southampton. I've just been on a skiing holiday with G and his parents. It was so wholesome. We even bumped into our friend from the travel group we met through and also an old colleague of mine. They both complemented how happy I seem. This made me stop to appreciate that, actually, everything I have right now is exactly what makes me happy.

Nothing is perfect but it's just how it should be.

• Yes, my house may be a rental and suffering from mold at this time of year, but I have a roof over my head that I've put there.

• Yes, my bank account doesn't have the amount of savings I'd like, and my credit card plays on my mind, but I always make sure my bills are paid.

• Yes, my health is all over the place, but I've achieved so much that I never thought I would because of my determination and drive to understand myself.

• Yes, my clothes aren't the latest fashion trend, and I can't afford to wear the style I'd like to wear, but everything I wear is functional and comfortable. Plus, hardly anyone sees me anyway.

Which brings me to my friends: I don't have many, but the ones I do have are honestly the most genuine people. They don't judge me by my home, clothes, or money. They enjoy hikes, cost-effective adventures, and game nights. So yes, in this world of "influence," I am not the picture-perfect idea of success or even my own idea of success, but to someone else in the world, I have everything they'd ever dreamed of. I feel lucky and grateful.

Anyway, my holiday was to Tignes in the French alps. It was beautiful, I always forget how much I love the mountains and the feeling of skis gliding across fresh snow.

It was peaceful and so beautiful on a clear day. However, the last couple of days were whiteouts. We spent our last day in the village of Val d'Isère, where we browsed a few shops and had some food and drinks. We ate in a café within a Quiksilver store, which was actually very reasonably priced compared to the other places we'd eaten earlier in the week. Having grown up a ROXY girl, I was brought back to my childhood as I browsed the clothes and accessories. The older I get, the more I appreciate how privileged I was growing up. To have been on annual skiing holidays and wearing the brands, as a child you really don't recognize the expense of these things.

G and I don't have a next date to see each other booked in, but he's said he'll come over to the UK at the end of this month or the beginning of next, which means a few weeks to a month of feeling like a little part of me is missing but also a good amount of time to focus on myself. Long distance was not something I'd ever seen myself doing before, but it's so strange how time actually flies. I'm definitely harnessing some "new year" motivation and wanting to take action on some of the things I have wanted to do. This being one of them. I'm also starting the process of buying a house. I'd also like to rebuild a social media platform this year. I know I'll be the best version of myself this year.

The plane is landing now, it's half past 7am, and I have work today. I'm looking forward to being back in my little moldy rental with its outdated quirks, my affectionate cat and the immense feeling of safety that home brings me.